Acceptance

I write today, with hope and acceptance. Acceptance, such a cruel unkind word, but very much needed this time around. My body was tampered, I made wrong use of it, however my heart was kept pure for her, the words “I love YOU” never left my lips, those words were only said to her, and only her. I want to cry, I want to cry so bad, I’m going to lay my head on my pillow tonight, and cry one last time. I will seal my feelings away with each tear; try to drown my love for her away. I will accept the reality; accept my wrong doings, my wrong choices, and my inability to understand her and love her as she wanted to be loved. Am I fooling myself? How can such love ever come to past? As long as she and I are breathing, the memories of our sweet details and gestures will be alive in our hearts; the flowers, the conversations, the kisses, the lunches, the 15mins breaks, the lovemaking and our hugs. One of the worst pains is to love somebody that does not love you back; someone that shares there I love yous w/ someone else and not you.

There are times that I hide myself away in the corner of my solitude, I’m sorry, when no one is watching, I close my eyes, cry, and dream. I want the best for her, the very best… I want to see her happy, she must know plenty of men that will make her so much happier than I will. May be I will just be solely a memory to just laugh about in the future…. I do pray for a better tomorrow… Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but FAITH looks up. Lord, grant me patience to endure!

I must not make a fool of myself and see things for the way they are…. Lo siento mi angel…I’m sorry my angel

Today, you gave me a kiss…..
And I kissed you back….

Long live your happiness, your new beginnings, you deserve love, and love deserves you… love you big and bold… always…

-Lito